I'm a FOB kid

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I am my parents
I baby talk my dog
I try for laughter

New Dating Requirement

If you don’t like Sisqó’s “Thong Song” don’t even bother messaging me.

— 3 days ago with 3 notes
#dating  #single  #online dating  #forever alone  #date me  #sisqo  #sisqó  #thong song 
My new dating headline

Are you socially awkward? Then I want YOU!!!

— 6 days ago with 3 notes
#dating  #single  #forever alone  #okcupid  #pof 
Thoughts inside my head

When I see a cute guy:
Jesus Christ on the cross you’re attractive!!!!!

— 6 days ago with 1 note
#dating  #beards  #beard  #single  #forever alone 
I really wanted to say “your face is boring” but its too late in the evening.

I really wanted to say “your face is boring” but its too late in the evening.

— 1 week ago with 1 note
#single  #online dating  #forever alone  #okcupid 
Job interview selfie.
And the only reason I took this photo is cause I actually haven’t felt this good in months.  And I’m completely off my anti depressant!!!!  Weaned myself off successfully.  Yay.

Job interview selfie.
And the only reason I took this photo is cause I actually haven’t felt this good in months. And I’m completely off my anti depressant!!!! Weaned myself off successfully. Yay.

— 1 week ago with 7 notes
#Zoloft  #i'm unemployed  #hire me  #depression 
Someone please hire me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone please hire me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— 1 week ago
The Expendables 3???

More like every actor I’ve ever had a crush on!!!
Except maybe Mel Gibson.
But I bet you’re thinking “what about Kelsey Grammer?”
Yes. Even him.

— 1 week ago with 3 notes
#actors  #crush  #movies  #the expendables 
Holy Shit

The bearded KFC $5 fill-up commercial guy is so attractive!!!

— 1 week ago with 1 note
#beard  #bearded  #kfc  #howdoyoukfc  #crush  #I'm single 
I want this.  All in black to match my soul.

I want this.
All in black to match my soul.

(Source: alexbeardstudio)

— 1 week ago with 3 notes
#black on black 

I always get the squeaky kart at the supermarket. ALWAYS!

— 1 week ago with 1 note
#first world problems